5 Tips to stop dropping "Negativity Bombs" on your goals.
Setting intentions means that you are giving yourself a clear and specific focus about what goal or experience you want to achieve. You are clear about the what, how, and why you want to accomplish that goal or experience. When you set clear positive intentions, it will always lead to clear and positive feelings and outcomes.
When people talk about intentions, they describe very specific and positive ones. For example, a person may start with an intention of:
"I really want to progress in my career or business."
"I want to find a life partner."
"I want to lose 15 pounds."
"I want to (Fill in the blank)."
You may start with these types of intentions, but when things get challenging or it does not have the desired outcome right away, you may start telling yourself things that are counterproductive to your intention. For example, you may say to yourself:
"I really hate my job, no one will ever hire me, people will never pay for that service or product, or this is the wrong business for me anyway."
"I didn't really want a partner anyway, it's too much trouble, or there are just no good ones to choose from."
"It's too hard to diet, I don't have time to exercise, or I will never lose this weight!"
These thoughts can lead to feelings of frustration, sadness, or even anxiety. You may reluctantly give up and even giving yourself justifications or excuses for not taking any action. Ultimately, you start your day with a clear positive picture of what you want, but sabotage it by placing a roadblock in front of it! Dropping what I like to call a negativity bomb, divides your energy delaying and even killing the progress in the goals you most want to achieve.
Did you know that these negative thoughts are also setting intentions? Yes, by dropping negativity bombs on your goals, you are indeed setting clear negative intentions. These negative intentions are in competition with the positive ones you started with. Whether you realize it or not, you are holding yourself back in your own progress because you are setting clear intentions that you are not capable of achieving the very goal you set for yourself. These opposing thoughts and feelings are battling each other and the one that has the most power wins! Therefore, if you have more negative thoughts than positive ones, more than likely, you will not achieve your goals.
Here is an illustration to drive the point home:
Imagine you are on a runner on a racetrack and your goal is to reach the finish line.
Every time you run against the wind, it slows you down.
If you look back at the other runners who are trying to catch up, it slows you down.
However, if you focus on running with the wind you pick up speed.
Even if you have to run against the wind, you trained differently to handle the wind coming against you, versus giving up. You don't worry about who's behind you, but train to always work on your best time.
The runner may or may not win that race. However, the win did not matter because the runner was not focused on the win. The runner focused on the intention of reaching the finish line and getting better and better each time. He or she felt good about the incremental progress and now is motivated on continuously striving for greatness each time.
As you can see, our intentions generate positive and negative thoughts and outcomes. This is the importance of setting clear positive intentions and preventing the negativity bombs from dropping in because they do drive our outcomes.
Do you ever find yourself doing any of the following when you are not making progress or come up against a challenge:
Feeling sad and frustrated.
Putting pressure on yourself about it that leads to anxiety, depression, or even anger.
Telling yourself "If I don't achieve this goal, I am a failure".
Telling yourself "If I could only achieve this goal, I can finally relax and be happy".
Many people tend to focus so much on the things that they haven't accomplished as their primary driver versus on the progress along the journey. This is a vital mistake, because it is counterproductive to the things they most want to achieve; they are fueling the negative feelings and anxiety around not achieving the goal. This spurs more frustration and ultimately, that person still can't find that right business opportunity, life partner, or are still struggling to lose those last 15 pounds.
Yes, we have all been there and it is frustrating! But, there is hope and what I urge you to do is to take a moment to reflect on the following five tips that will prevent or reduce the impact of the negativity bombs you or the people around you may drop in front of you as you are working on achieving your goals.
5 TIPS TO STOP NEGATIVITY BOMBS:
Set intentions daily: This will keep your goal in the forefront so that you don't lose focus or get discouraged.
Celebrate your progress: No matter how big or small, take the time to enjoy and celebrate every win in your life even if it is not directly tied to your immediate goal.
Learn from your success: Think back on your accomplishments and the mindset, emotions, and actions you were taking that led to that success. Find ways you can apply these success lessons to your new goal.
Do not be tied to the outcome: Do not tie your self-worth to the outcome of your goal. Remember, your self-worth is not tied to you achieving a specific action, you are so much more valuable than a goal. Your value is in the person you are and the values that you represent.